Lesson 66 of Recovery Nation says: “a) Consider your perspective towards potential triggers when you were in early recovery. Consider your perspective now. How has this changed? b) List five potential triggers for you — that may lead you into a compulsive crisis. How can you shift your perspective of each so that they are not only NOT a threat to your values, but you can actually use these triggers to strengthen those values?”
In the early part of recovery, I probably underestimated and misunderstood these triggers. I thought that the real cause of my malfeasance was not triggers and compulsions, but rather my own selfish, conscious choices. That remains true. The worst things I have done in life resulted from active, conscious decisions I made. That said, perhaps there are things I can learn by using this trigger concept now. There are indeed times when I am tempted to do or think self-defeating things.
Usually this does not happen now. But, occasionally, a reference to promiscuity in a magazine, television show, or overhead conversation will tempt me to ruminate on the past. Occasionally, an ad on an Internet page will tempt me to click on pictures of scantily-clad women. I am also occasionally tempted to lie, by omission, to protect myself from consequences, to cowardly remain silent when someone – usually my mother – attacks my wife, or to be inflexible when faced with emerging suggestions or needs.
My new, evolved perspective on these five types of “triggers” is recognition that they are not only real, but also relevant. In early recovery, I thought a trigger of this nature meant that I would see some woman and be attempted to touch her or talk with her, a temptation I knew was not a real problem for me. Now, I see that there are more subtle steps that are important temptations to overcome. How can I use these triggers to strengthen my values? I can look at them as much-needed opportunities to prove to myself, as well as to my wife and others, that I can consistently make good decisions.