The other morning I walked around the house with dirty shoes, telling myself, “I’m really in a hurry, and the maid ought to clean the floor anyway.” TL reminded me that she had asked me before, on more than one occasion, not to wear dirty shoes in the house. I think that I had responded to each of those previous requests with something like, “okay, okay.” What I had failed to do was stop myself at those moments and make a plan for following through. Ultimately, the plan was quite simple: move my work shoes so that I keep them near the back door rather than in the bedroom, and keep slippers there too so I can change shoes before walking through the house. This incident made me think I should add another reactive action plan, this one to address listening and follow-through.
Six. TL asks me to stop or change some behavior. Recalling that the consequences of not responding immediately greatly outweigh the costs of immediately investing time and energy into the issue, I will choose to respond immediately, adjusting the rest of my objectives and expectations for the day to something more realistic. The response must be to create an action plan for the behavior in question. After that good decision, I may initially feel stress, as I labor to shift my mind’s momentum. One potential mind game to avoid is the possibility I will tell myself, “Changing this behavior will be easy so I don’t need a plan.” Time and again I find I can’t modify my own behavior without a plan.