The Lesson 61 of Recovery Nation is largely a troubleshooting guide to be used in the case of future problems. It also includes the following practical exercise.
2. Consider your current vision. See how it has evolved from it’s initial state (Lesson Two). See which areas of this vision continue to guide you, which you have come to evolve, which you have come to neglect and which are now irrelevant.
Following is a re-print of my vision statement from lesson two. As I re-read it, it still seems timely and relevant.
I want to demonstrate to my wife that I can love and protect her. If she is alive for my funeral, I want her to feel more positive about my life than negative. I want to have been a positive factor in her life. My lying and cheating have hurt her so badly that she has lost faith in me and lost respect for me. This fact truly disappoints me, even though — perhaps especially because — it was my own doing.
Likewise, I want to maintain an active, growing, useful relationship with my sons until I die. I see, with some disappointment, how my own relationship with my parents devolved, long ago, into nothing more than superficial gestures. I lost faith in their ability to teach me anything without an accompaniment of criticism and judgment. I don’t want my kids to ever fear telling me about themselves and their lives, as they grow and change. I want them to know that I am there to support them emotionally (not financially), and not think that they exist to act out my dreams or to be constrained by my fears.
I want to be active, mentally and physically, as long as my health allows. I’ve learned from experience that doing so makes me happy. But, I want to do it in a way that complements my other values: my wife and sons. I want to look back and know that I actively exercised my mind and body regularly, and that I accomplished something, no matter how small. I want to know that I did not waste my life with idleness or self-defeating behaviors. Whether it’s working, teaching, or writing, I want to feel I was continuously exploring, learning, and creating, even in small ways. Even if the scale is small, I want to feel I made a difference, in some positive way.