Lesson 42 of Recovery Nation returns to discussing compulsive rituals and chains.
It says ” . . . share the following:
to identify the ELEMENTS associated with a simple compulsive ritual that you have previously engaged in (think Wheel of Sexual Compulsivity)
to walk through a single compulsive ritual and identify the BEGINNING of that ritual; the POINT OF NO RETURN; and the time that you would CREATE A BREAK
To walk through a complex compulsive ritual involving several single rituals in a single event (e.g. porn and alcohol; masturbation and voyeuring)
To share the dynamics of a compulsive chain (e.g. multiple rituals) and how that chain effects your overall life management needs/skills”
Alright, some of the foregoing is no longer relevant to me, and some of it was never relevant. The points about chains and complex rituals don’t seem to have ever been relevant to me. Right now, I can think of the following compulsions I ought to overcome:
Picking at my fingernail cuticles,
Picking inside my ears,
Scratching my butt when I’m trying to sleep,
Obsessing over a list of tasks at home or at work instead of flexing to meet changing circumstances, and
I think the element they all have in common is my failure to focus on the most important things at the given moment. The beginning is my wandering mind, and being distracted by my own thoughts or untamed energy. I suppose the point of no return is when I act on the compulsion to scratch, pick, tidy, or work on a checklist or routine. The break would be when I am able to talk to myself about my hope of not giving in to those urges.
As for sexual compulsions, once again, those are years in the past. And, I’m still not convinced they were compulsions. I remember them as conscious choices — bad and selfish choices.