Even if…

Even if it could be true, I doubt I will ever unquestionably believe when MindlessCraft tells me I’m beautiful, intelligent, talented or any other complementary thing. First, all of his past actions make such words seem hollow to me. Second, and likely more important, I need to learn to believe it for myself regardless of MindlessCraft’s opinion. But, I am having a very difficult time finding how to do that. How do I learn to see myself through my own eyes and in a positive light????

As I contemplate these feelings, as I contemplate the world around us, This quote from Judith Lewis Herman really speaks to me somehow…

Traumatic events destroy the sustaining bonds between individual and community. Those who have survived learn that their sense of self, of worth, of humanity, depends upon a feeling of connection with others. The solidarity of a group provides the strongest protection against terror and despair, and the strongest antidote to traumatic experience. Trauma isolates; the group re-creates a sense of belonging. Trauma shames and stigmatizes; the group bears witness and affirms. Trauma degrades the victim; the group exalts her. Trauma dehumanizes the victim; the group restores her humanity.

Repeatedly in the testimony of survivors there comes a moment when a sense of connection is restored by another person’s unaffected display of generosity. Something in herself that the victim believes to be irretrievably destroyed—faith, decency, courage—is reawakened by an example of common altruism. Mirrored in the actions of others, the survivor recognizes and reclaims a lost part of herself. At that moment, the survivor begins to rejoin the human commonality…


4 thoughts on “Even if…

  1. Yes. I am so isolated. No community. No support except for my therapist….who tells me constantly I need community. But that takes years to build up those kind of friendships where I would trust enough to expose my life. It would for me anyway. How does one heal if they don’t know how to trust enough to rebuild her community? It’s a question I have been asking myself a lot.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. SecretKeeper, I understand. I think part of creating this blog was an attempt to build community.

    I used to have such faith in humanity, but I keep encountering those who increase my doubt in such faith. How do we build a sense of community if we are fearing the possibility of a “hidden agenda” or inauthenticity. It is hard when we feel a need to be guarded. It is also hard when we keep encountering people who turn out to be inauthentic (a tenant who lies, destroys and breaks a lease; a new friend whose real purpose turns out to be to open our eyes and souls to her version of “the truth” through Jesus; and many more). It gets tiring and discouraging, and I think we could really use some exposure to gracious humanity for some reaffirmation. And/or learn to provide ourselves such affirmation. Just not sure how to do it? Maybe we can come up with some ideas together…

    Liked by 1 person

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