Upon further reflection, maybe there are a couple more possible subconscious passive-aggressive behaviors I have used.
5. “You just want everything to be perfect.” “When procrastination is not an option, a more sophisticated passive aggressive strategy is to carry out tasks in a timely, but unacceptable manner.” I didn’t think this one was applicable, but maybe it is. TL has long told me to fully scrub all dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. I have often said I would do so, only to later get sloppy and stop doing so — or to stop doing it thoroughly. I didn’t do this to spite her. But, I think I did it because I valued my laziness more than I valued her rule.
7. “Sure, I’d be happy to.” Again, maybe I did do this. I believe I have stopped. But, in years past, I had a habit of offering to get together with someone socially, to host something, or to get the tab at a restaurant while assuming, and perhaps hoping, the listener would politely decline. Maybe this was also a subconscious passive-aggressive behavior. I don’t know. I had always thought it was just a bad habit, learned partly from my patents. When it comes to paying the tab at a restaurant, I learned my lesson about that long ago, on my own. But, I suspect it did take me longer to learn to not offer social commitments insincerely. In any case, I don’t do this anymore