The Differences Between Boy And Man Psychology

We found an interesting article by this name, written by Jordan Gray, and published September 3, 2013. I’d recommend it.

“Victims feel like the entire world is plotting against them,” writes Gray. “Their life sucks because of other people.” Yes, this form of “boy think” or “child think” dogged me from a young age. I blamed God, my parents, and later my wife for my unhappiness, failing to take responsibility for it myself.

Gray points to the value of being decisive, not passive. “When you are young, the majority of your decisions are made for you,” he continues. “Decisions regarding your clothing, food, and life’s schedule are largely decided by your parents. . . . For many men, a lifestyle lacking in experience ultimately produces an indecisive man. . . . A mature man knows what he wants in life. He has goals and intentions that he is confidently striding towards.” This struck a chord for me because I remember feeling particularly frustrated by my lack of options as a child. My parents chose everything for me, including what to wear at any given moment, what to eat and when, with whom I could play, and how I could spend my time. And, I felt like that continued well into adolescence. Compared to my peers, I thought, my parents dictated every aspect of my life for an unusually long time. I have to suspect that being treated as a child for so long retarded my psychological growth, delaying my mental and emotional maturity.

Gray says, “For some men, this sense of needing to have someone take care of them never fully goes away. . . . In a boy’s younger years, he takes resources (or value) from his environment. He is self-involved and doesn’t do much of anything to contribute to the people around him. . . . A mature man exists to serve… his friends, family, loved ones, and society at large.” This also reminds me of my belief that immaturity was one of the root causes of my selfishness. I was so used to everything being done for me that I failed to start taking responsibility for my choices, real-life consequences, and my own happiness.

“Many of the world’s problems can be traced back to masculinity… specifically boy psychology.” Gray says. “It isn’t that masculinity itself is to blame for society’s problems… it’s that the men who are running the world haven’t transitioned from boys to mature men. True mature masculine energy wants what is best for the community and the world at large. Immature boy-like energy is selfish to a fault. It is this greed and emotional immaturity that causes the world to stagnate on many levels.” This tracks with my belief that many problems of men behaving badly — ranging from criminality to gangs to war crimes — stem from many of us failing to learn that being a man is less about gender and more about growing up.

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9 thoughts on “The Differences Between Boy And Man Psychology

  1. Hi MLC,
    You provided a link to another article “to help your spouse heal”, just recently. I could not get to it.
    Can you re-post the link or the article? We both would like to read it.
    Thanks

    Like

      1. I got it! Thanks so much. It works!
        We have I-pad, but updated ours and downloaded the Kindle app. After that we downloaded the booklet (Linda MacDonald). It is very good. It is all the stuff I asked, I begged my husband to do…but he was not ready…still head in the sand and lying…
        I think he is ready now. He read the book, it is as his eyes are opening wider. He did not listen to me, but seeing the same things written down, it does something.
        The booklet is written with the most respect for those who were betrayed…
        The percentages of divorce after infidelity are staggering but no surprise.
        He finally understands why I am so angry….it is the lying and his denial and rationalisations.
        Maybe now, we can start to heal…..years after.

        It is ironical. I am a therapist, I work with couples, I am familiar with what Linda writes…but my husband did not listen to me.
        While I helped so many couples…
        Thanks so much….
        Elisabeth

        Liked by 2 people

      1. Everyone should read it….too bad that those who do (finally)……have done the damage already…post facto repair…to a certain extent.
        None can be made undone. Living with the damage.

        We cannot even make a joke innocently because it can be a trigger.

        Thanks a lot…I have forwarded the link already to some other sufferers…Those who are in pain due to the arrogance and stubborn pigheadedness of the partner who betrayed.

        Please….see this as a stab to those (who do not read this) who are not doing the work. You are not one of them.

        Very much appreciated TL and MLC,…Me telling about your “we” work in addition to individual healing,….might help him to see the light….no more solo…

        Elisabeth

        Liked by 1 person

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