We found an interesting article by this name, written by Jordan Gray, and published September 3, 2013. I’d recommend it.
“Victims feel like the entire world is plotting against them,” writes Gray. “Their life sucks because of other people.” Yes, this form of “boy think” or “child think” dogged me from a young age. I blamed God, my parents, and later my wife for my unhappiness, failing to take responsibility for it myself.
Gray points to the value of being decisive, not passive. “When you are young, the majority of your decisions are made for you,” he continues. “Decisions regarding your clothing, food, and life’s schedule are largely decided by your parents. . . . For many men, a lifestyle lacking in experience ultimately produces an indecisive man. . . . A mature man knows what he wants in life. He has goals and intentions that he is confidently striding towards.” This struck a chord for me because I remember feeling particularly frustrated by my lack of options as a child. My parents chose everything for me, including what to wear at any given moment, what to eat and when, with whom I could play, and how I could spend my time. And, I felt like that continued well into adolescence. Compared to my peers, I thought, my parents dictated every aspect of my life for an unusually long time. I have to suspect that being treated as a child for so long retarded my psychological growth, delaying my mental and emotional maturity.
Gray says, “For some men, this sense of needing to have someone take care of them never fully goes away. . . . In a boy’s younger years, he takes resources (or value) from his environment. He is self-involved and doesn’t do much of anything to contribute to the people around him. . . . A mature man exists to serve… his friends, family, loved ones, and society at large.” This also reminds me of my belief that immaturity was one of the root causes of my selfishness. I was so used to everything being done for me that I failed to start taking responsibility for my choices, real-life consequences, and my own happiness.
“Many of the world’s problems can be traced back to masculinity… specifically boy psychology.” Gray says. “It isn’t that masculinity itself is to blame for society’s problems… it’s that the men who are running the world haven’t transitioned from boys to mature men. True mature masculine energy wants what is best for the community and the world at large. Immature boy-like energy is selfish to a fault. It is this greed and emotional immaturity that causes the world to stagnate on many levels.” This tracks with my belief that many problems of men behaving badly — ranging from criminality to gangs to war crimes — stem from many of us failing to learn that being a man is less about gender and more about growing up.