How to help your spouse heal from your affair

Today I re-read Linda J. MacDonald’s excellent pamphlet, How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair.  I believe I am heeding all her advice.  But, I also know I need to constantly remind myself and push myself to get it right.  And, of course, during and even after the infidelity, I have already made many of the mistakes of which she warns.  It’s well written, and I highly recommend it.



5 thoughts on “How to help your spouse heal from your affair

  1. This was the first book I asked H to read after D-Day #1. It was actually helpful for me to read as well, because at first I had no idea how to deal with everything and didn’t really know what I needed. This book helped me to understand what I was feeling. It took a while to convince him, but he did finally read it. He’s doing better at following her advice now than he did back then, thank goodness. There’s still hope.
    I hope you and TL are doing well.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It is a good read and a good reminder!

      My biggest thing is that I need to see and feel that MC wants to do all possible to help me feel safe and loved, beyond me asking for specific things and him doing those specific things.

      We are settling in to life again overseas. I’m trying to find my footing. I still contemplate anti-depressants as my motivation in life is just really lacking. I often spend half my day in pjs (unpacking boxes, but in pjs). I haven’t really gone to gym or pool in a long while. I know ultimately, I have to heal myself, but so many times in my life I’ve done that after various traumas, and I am just tired of that struggle only to be knocked down AGAIN by the next something else unknown in the future.

      Remember how I said that my rough patches are in sync with my cycle. Well, this is always where it brings me.

      Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you! I’ve avoided ADs up until now, and when it comes down to it I really don’t want to take them. And, yes, at least pjs are quite comfy for unpacking for sure. You do understand! Btw, thanks for sending the sensate info. We are starting and will see where it takes us! And, Elisabeth, I so hope your husband is starting to see and help heal the damage!

      Liked by 3 people

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