Cognitive distortions, redux

To be thorough, let me take a look at these again and see whether I can apply them to behaviors of mine aside from sexual malfeasance. Perhaps that will also yield challenges that are more timely, instead of rehashing old lessons. Here are the additional examples I can find, specifically relating to catastrophizing and comparing.

Catastrophizing. My experience with this may be similar to my experience with all-or-Vnothing thinking. I told myself that if my mate remembered one or more sexual encounters with men who were more desirable or more skilled than I, she would never really want me and would only feel like she ended up with me as a sort of consolation prize. I believed I could never measure up to men she had known before me.

I don’t know whether this is really related, but I have been accused of being too pessimistic or focusing too much on negative possibilities. For example, I worry a great deal about finding a new job after my upcoming forced retirement. When I express these fears out loud, I guess I sound quite depressing and fatalistic. Inside my own mind, I know quite well that I will make and implement a logical strategy for the job search. But, I am told that my verbal expressions give listeners the impression I do not intend to try or that I have given up hope, even when that is not the case.

Comparing. Clearly, I unwisely compared myself to my mate, other men she had known, my peers, and even to the imaginary “average American guy” that I thought I knew from so many Hollywood productions. Moving beyond questions of sex, I’m sure that at various times I have inappropriately compared myself to others in terms of jobs, income, achievements, physical attributes, strength or fitness, life experiences, skills, and appearances.


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