Well, we made the move. Though I know the old axiom, “you can’t run away from yourself,” to be true, I think there is always a little secret part of me that hopes the next change of scenery will magically take away all of my fears, all of my pain and make everything magically new and better. Oh, I know all too well that could never be, would never be true. But, how do you turn off all of those secret little irrational thoughts (good or bad)?
As far as the SunChips, I am a HUGE fan of salsa flavored SunChips. I can never stop with one serving and the kids love them too. I guess I thought that would be one temptation no longer staring me in the face every time I went grocery shopping. Only, guess what they sell in our far off corner of the world? If you guessed SunChips, you guessed right. Who woulda thunk it?
So, how’s life here? Well, many things are good. It is an easy life for expats with good schools for the kids. I am already making friends and do feel connections developing here, as they often do overseas, much easier than random town USA. But, some fears don’t just stop, do they? MC must travel for this job more than the last. I wanted us overseas again so badly. So, here we are.
In reality, I can see and feel that I am not as panicky as I once was on the travel issue. MC is at a big beautiful hotel with his work colleagues (all men). He did call me the other night to tell me that his hotel is a block from the red light district and his group did walk past on his way to and from dinner, including his big boss.He assures me these are top quality guys. But, really, how can you ever truly know. He shared that he realized this was exactly the kind of situation he would have taken advantage of in the past, once the group had split up for the night. He assures me he did not, that before d-day, he wanted to take advantage of such situations, but, he says, that is no longer the case. I do believe him, but there will always be that seed of doubt. I know he was scared to share this with me, and am proud he did. Today, his group, went for a hike. This was on their itinerary from the start. More than anything, however, I think this hike has me more triggered than anything else. But, even that hasn’t really stopped me in my tracks or broken me down or sent me down the rabbit hole. So, there’s that I guess.