I’m back to blogging. I apologize for the long absence. In the aftermath of moving to a new house and new job, I really didn’t do a good job of sticking with the soul-searching and blogging. I have still been using Recovery Nation as a way to organize my thoughts. The last thing RN suggested was that I make a list of questions for monitoring my mental state, and that I spend no more than five minutes each day contemplating the questions as part of my inner dialogue. I came up with the following questions, and I have been using them, though I’ve missed more days than I care to admit.
1. Did I tell my wife about my day, including my emotions regarding each element of my day?
2. Did I take advantage of every opportunity to tell others something positive about my wife?
3. Did I take advantage of every opportunity to tell my wife about other women, even virtual women, I came across during my day?
4. Did I actively search for anything thought provoking about recovery I could share with my wife during the day?
5. Did I drop everything to give my wife my full attention when she talked during the day?
6. Did I invite my wife to do something together?
7. Did I invite my kids to do something together?
8. Did I touch my wife in a non-sexual way that did not include touches she has asked me to avoid?
9. Did I take every opportunity to be encouraging and upbeat toward my wife’s ideas?
10. Did I tell my wife about everything I spent today, no matter how small or routine?
Why am I telling you this? One reason is that this blog is a good way to “show my work” and keep myself accountable for continuing to soul-search.
I was recently reminded to fix my wrong ways of thinking and behaving. In many ways, I really do think I’ve made visible progress in that regard. Nonetheless, it was a good reminder that to do this work properly, one can never consider it to be “done,” “better,” or “good enough.”
I treat physical fitness the way I treat brushing teeth, clipping nails, and eating; it’s just part of good, responsible hygiene. I need to remember to treat this mental hygiene the same way.