Not in a good place right now, don’t even have the words (well apparently I do, see more below). I am in the midst of my final project for my Masters degree due in two weeks, while also working that new job. All I can say is that the words of MWS and IOH, in comments to MC’s post yesterday, are exactly the conversation that has been happening here. G-d, I just need to focus on my work, school and the kids, and yet. . .
I think what I am trying to work through in my mind is:
Should I give credence to the fact that he caught himself and came clean; not holding onto the mirage for weeks, months, years? While he admitted all within 10 minutes of the conversation, it took him two days to admit that what he had done was try to lie to me, wanting to hold on to the idea that he was trying to remember what happened, was simply thinking out loud as he figured it out. Of course, my reply, “that is the thing with the truth, you don’t have to fucking figure it out. Doh!”
Is this a setback or a deal breaker? I just don’t know. I just don’t know.
Is this miles ahead of who he used to be? Yes.
Is it good enough? HELL NO!
Is he trying? Yes.
Are trying and doing the same thing? NO! Yoda wearing Nikes: There is no try! JUST DO IT!
I didn’t give a fuck about the click bait. Sure, I would have asked what are you doing to deal with this issue? What is your plan here? It is the fucking lying.
I have got to focus on kids, work and school. G-d, I just need to focus on kids, work and school right now!