Two thoughts

Just want to put this out there. Two thoughts that again and again seem to appear in our work on ourselves and our marriage. Perhaps, these really should’ve been obvious all along. 

First, comparing yourself to others is a gateway to self-pity.

Second, no matter where you go or what you do, you cannot run away from yourself.

What do you think, do you share similar thoughts or have other thoughts that have become apparent to you as you do the work to move forward?


4 thoughts on “Two thoughts

  1. Playing the comparison game is never a good plan. I tell my patients’ this all the time, when one compares their slower progress to someone else’s quicker recovery, etc. Different scenario, sure, but I think the point is the same. Convincing yourself someone else’s marriage is “better” plays mind games on your psyche. Besides, perception isn’t always reality. Those “better” marriages may look good on the surface but be just as dysfunctional behind closed doors as anyone else’s.


    1. Comparing marriages is one of the temptations, but the comparisons we make as individuals to other individuals run the gamete, possibly including: personal and professional successes and failures; praise and recognition or lack thereof; appearances; material possessions; spiritual choices; social graces and abilities; and, of course, life path, difficulties and circumstances.

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  2. While there may be a natural inclination to compare, it can quickly go too deep and lead to a place of self-pity and “I deserve” thinking. The problem is that there is always going to be more and better when making such comparisons. If, instead, we could only compare ourselves to ourselves we stop this shit it in its tracks.

    Where am I today compared to where I was before, what progress am I making, how am I growing, learning, contributing? When we stop the comparisons with others (admittedly very hard to do) we can really get down to it and start becoming more healthy people. Perhaps this is rambling, but it seems to be at the core of so much of the work we are doing and where we need to go.


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