I realized something today. In the past, I would focus on coming up with any question I could to make sure I knew absolutely everything about the past: thoughts, feelings, words and actions. I was trying so hard to get a grasp on the reality of my past, if there was anything at all missing, any detail whatsoever, I would make sure to find it.
Last night, I felt myself going into that mode. But, I couldn’t come up with one single question. I knew what his answers would be after asking so many questions, hundreds of times each in hundreds of different ways. So, I just lay in bed realizing, wow, for the first time ever, I didn’t have a question to ask. That is not to say I won’t at some point down the road, but it was a nice feeling to realize I just don’t have any more questions about the past right now.
Maybe my brain is just too tired to come up with anything right now, since my school started again recently. I don’t know. I just know it was a much appreciated sense of mental freedom.