MC: “Not attractive, just available”

TL and our child had to be away for about three months for reasons beyond our control.  A few weeks into that period I began an affair with our housekeeper.  Let’s call her AP2.  Why did I do it?  I think it was just because I could.  I thought there would be no consequences.  The woman was not attractive.  She was simply available.

She started staying later and making me dinner, I did not ask her to do this. She would sit, stare and smile at me as I ate. One night she complained of shoulder pain.  When she repeated it the next night, I took advantage of the opening.  I offered to massage her shoulder.  It led immediately to sex.  Unlike AP1, AP2 was also married.  Claiming “safety” issues to TL, AP2 began staying the night several nights a week.  On two or three occasions when she was staying with her husband, I found prostitutes instead.

When TL and our child returned, I tried to pretend nothing had happened.  TL and I resumed what I considered our happy life together.  We conceived our second child.  On the exterior, everything was quite good between TL and I.

My dark, double life continued.  AP2 would babysit when TL and I went out. I would drive her home and pull-over en route for sex or oral sex.  There were a few nights when AP2 said she would just sleep on our couch, saying it was too late to drive her home.  While TL slept, I would sneak into the living room, get a quick orgasm from the maid, and then sneak back into bed with my wife.

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8 thoughts on “MC: “Not attractive, just available”

    1. It is screwed-up. When I think about it, it was really a bit like autism (not in the clinical sense, but the literary sense), being so consumed by myself and my perceived needs that I didn’t have real relationships. I’m working on growing beyond that. It’s a long-term effort. Thanks for commenting. It helps to hear how others see our situation.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Wow.. reminds me of what my husband did. He would leave our bed in the morning and go straight to my what I thought best friends house.

    So icky..
    You write with such strength and honor. My husband tells me these things about himself that he doesn’t ever want to go back there and I can’t keep him there.

    I find it amazing TL’s strength and words as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It is so icky, and with someone you know and trust just adds more layers to the pain. I totally get that. Though there are so many terrible things that happened, most of my nightmares centered on her.

      Like

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