TL: “Hand me the phone or I will be filing for divorce.”

Mindless arrived in America late at night. He took a taxi from the airport to our lodging. He was aloof upon entering, but I figured it was just the long journey and tiredness. We went to bed.

The next day, he awakened before the rest of us to exercise. The kids and I awoke about an hour later and our busy day began. We were celebrating our youngest child’s birthday with family that evening and had errands to run. We were together as a family, with rarely any alone time. Finally, a few hours before the party, I called Mindless up to the bedroom to talk alone. I started questioning him about that woman and the hike and the not calling us. I asked him, “How did you arrange these hikes?” He explained, “By e-mail.” I asked to see his phone to look at the e-mails and he refused. At that point, my heart sank. I demanded his phone. He refused and ran into the bathroom, thinking he had locked the door. The lock was broken! I told him, “Hand me the phone or I will be filing for divorce immediately!” He gave me the phone. He then stated, “she may have misunderstood my intentions.” I asked for her name and he provided it. I found out that he had an illicit affair with her. I found out that she traveled with him to America as far as the port-of-entry to the US, her final destination and his transfer point to come to us. My world came crashing down. Mindless immediately sent a no contact e-mail to his affair partner (AP). It was short, and too nice in my book, something that gnawed at me for months more.  Here was his message:

Title: “I’m sorry, it’s over.”

As I told you, I came to see my family.  I now know for sure that I made the right choice by returning to my family.  I hope that is what you will do too.

I do love my wife and I’m in pain because I have betrayed her.

This will be the last contact I will have with you.

MindlessCraft

We then went to the restaurant where our little one’s party was being held. My family could see something was very wrong. I had to keep excusing myself to get myself together and not break down in tears. I made it through. As we were leaving, a family member pulled me aside and told me to call him if I needed to talk. We all went home.

Mindless and I began to talk. I looked through his phone more and found the following:

Title: I have your camera, blouse and perfume box

Tell me an address and I can mail them to you.

I’ll pay a professional to pack them carefully.

 Love.

MindlessCraft

He had sent that message just that morning, before discovery, while he was supposedly exercising. I lost it. I found the AP’s stuff. I asked why he even had her crap in his carry-on bag. He explained that she had overpacked and badgered him into carrying things for her. I was so mad about the e-mail above, I asked him “how will you feel if I destroy this camera and the rest of her things?” He said, “do whatever you need to do!” So, I did. I destroyed everything.

I then left the house in tears, got in the car and started driving. I called my family member and he told me to come see him. We talked. He told me whatever I decided the family would support me, they just wanted what was best for me and our children. He asked how I found out. We talked about how smart I was to figure it out so quickly. How MindlessCraft just is incapable of lying to me, which is why I figured it all out so quickly. I then went home.

Upon arrival back “home,” I was so angry, so sad, I packed MC’s suitcase and told him “get the fuck out, we are over!” I threw his suitcase out of the room and shut the door. He was crying and pleading for me to talk to him. Our poor children, they were downstairs and I don’t know exactly what they heard, but too much! I let him back in to talk, more quietly and privately. I don’t know why, but I decided to let him stay. He immediately started searching for marriage counselors to help us figure out what to do and how to do it. I let him hold me that night, as I cried for the whole night through.

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