One of MindlessCraft’s largest issues, and one we see time and again in other unfaithful spouses, is the inability to appreciate what they have in their lives and always wanting something more, something different. Failing to realize that a) the grass is greener on the other side of the fence because it is fertilized with bull shit and b) the true problem lies within and you cannot run away from yourself.
Before d-day, MC would often joke “not only is the glass half-empty, it is broken and leaking.” He always said it with a laugh and a smile, in a light-hearted, joking manner. But, jokes often have a way of actually being true, don’t they? This is exactly how MC saw his life. As it turns out, the crack in the glass was of his own making. He kept trying to get everyone else to fill his glass (feed his ego), but even that didn’t last because of that leak. And, even if the leak did not exist, depending on others to always be filling your glass is far less sustainable than learning to fill it yourself.
A good part of the focus now has been on fixing that leak, filling his own glass, and just appreciating the glass he has in front of him. MC is rewiring his thought processes to look at the positive and stop always focusing on the negative. MC decided one measure to address this, and to teach our children by example, was to eat dinner together as a family every night. Something we had not done in years, if ever. At the dinner table, MC initiated what we call “count your blessings.” It starts with “today, I appreciated. . .” and ends with “tomorrow I look forward to. . .”. Everyone does it, even TL.
At first, it was very difficult for TL to participate. As a betrayed experiencing great trauma, she was now mired in pain, despair and self-pity. But, with two beautiful children, there was always something she could contribute to this exercise. It has been 2.5 years and we continue to do this. One small thing on the journey forward to remind us to look at the positives in our life.